Interview with a Boudoir Day Original - 3/9/16

As I advertise my Boudoir Day event, I try to really jump in the shoes of the prospective client. Within this mindset, I realized I'd feel very nervous and self-conscious to get practically-naked in front of a camera. I always tell people one of the reasons I get behind the camera is so I don't have to be in front of it. When I say this, I'm mostly kidding but honestly...a part of me is not. I wondered what would ultimately convince me to be brave and do it? I realized I'm not the only girl with self-confidence and body image issues. The reason I take these pictures is to help women feel beautiful and be happy and strong in their own skin.
I did my first Boudoir Day in 2013, and lucky for me my first client was Clarissa, a dear old friend of mine. I asked her to share her experience, and she agreed--reminding me again of why I do this.

 What interested you in getting boudoir photos taken?
 I was newly single and needed a bit of a boost of self-confidence. I figured, what better way to feel better about myself than to get some fun photos taken.  

 

Were these photos a gift to a signifigant other, or did you get them done for yourself?

I got them done for myself. 

 

Were you nervous prior to getting photographed? If so, what were some things you were mostly nervous about?

Wow, was I nervous!!! Even though I had known Emily, the photographer, since early in high school, the thought of being nearly nude in front of her, much less in front of a camera, was so scary to me! Thankfully, Emily's friendship was actually what helped me to relax. As soon as she started shooting, we got into a flow. She helped me to forget that I was in my underwear, and made it like we were just hanging out. I was so self-conscious that I would be judged for my body, or made fun of. Nothing like that happened. In fact, I left my shoot feeling so proud of myself for conquering a fear, and going out of my comfort zone. I can't wait to do another shoot like this!!! 

 

What helped you decide your overall look for your shoot? How did you decide how you wanted your hair/makeup done and what you were going to wear?

It was easy for me to decide on makeup, as I am a Mary Kay Beauty Consultant, as for hair, I wasn't sure what I wanted. Recently before the shoot I had gotten a hair cut which I was quite fond of, so I let the hair stylist help me to flat iron it and make it a bit more "floofy" for the shoot. The overall look was really a combination of my own personality, suggestions from Emily, and a bit of research done on looks that I would like, beforehand. Since this shoot was really about me rediscovering myself, I gladly accepted suggestions from Emily. She never forced me to do something I was uncertain or uncomfortable about, she guided me and helped me feel beautiful! 

 

Everyone gets self conscious. What were you mostly self-conscious about?

I've never been the "skinny" girl, in fact, I'm slightly curvy. I have a bit of a beer belly (comes with the territory of living in Milwaukee, I guess!!!). My thighs touch. I have flabby, un-toned arms. My butt and thighs have dimples from cellulite. I wanted to wait until I lost weight, until I was skinnier and in better shape. I was so worried that Emily or the rest of the team would bad mouth me behind my back, make fun of me, etc. The exact opposite happened. Emily and the rest of the staff were so kind, encouraging, and unbelievably wonderful through the entire process. They made me feel so calm, confident, and beautiful. THANK YOU!!! 

 

If you hesitated on getting photographed, what helped your to finally decide to take the plunge and do it?

Honestly, I didn't know if I could. Then once I saw the spots beginning to book up, I knew I had to do it. For me. Not for anyone else. It was worth it. Completely. 

 

In the days preceding your photo shoot, how did you prepare yourself mentally and otherwise?

For me, I knew I was going to be nervous until the shoot was over. I could tell myself anything and everything to try and prepare, but I knew that I was still going to be a wreck. I just kept looking forward to the end of the shoot - how good I was going to feel for doing something new, something I've never done before. 

 

Were you as nervous at the end of your shoot as you were in the beginning?

By the end of the shoot, I was actually upset that it was over! I was having so much fun, trying new positions, wearing so much different lingerie, I felt so comfortable in my skin again! I didn't want that courage-building experience to end! 

 

If you got more comfortable as the shoot went on, what helped you overcome your fears?

Emily's kind words - which I knew were not "just something to say and fill the time". She HONESTLY made me feel like a million bucks. It doesn't matter that we were friends already, she could see the trepidation on my face, and I'm sure it showed in the photos. Emily kindly encouraged me, complimented me, and made me feel so calm and comfortable.  

 

What was the overall experience of your photoshoot?

GREAT! I had a fun time, looked beautiful, and can't wait to do it again!!! 

 

Were you worried about seeing your photos? How did you feel when you finally saw them?

I was worried at first, but then got really excited because I remembered how great the experience was taking them. I felt so proud of myself when I saw them. I had done something far out of my comfort zone, and was so happy that I had finally done it.  

 

What did you do with your prints/photos?

I kept them. I shared them with my current boyfriend, who knows I am working on rebuilding my confidence, and he was so proud of me for doing something like this. He loved the confidence I exuded not only in the photos, but even when I showed him the photos. I was so confident being able to show him that different side of me.  

 

When you look back at this experience and these photographs, are you glad you decided to do it?

SO GLAD!!! It was a really great experience, and I can't wait to do it again! 

 

Would you ever consider doing a boudoir shoot again? How has your outlook changed since having had these portraits done?

Yes! I now know that I am beautiful - it doesn't matter what my physical size is. My self-confidence has gone through the roof. I love myself. 

 

Did your reasoning for why you got them done change compared to your initial thoughts?

Yes and no. I wanted to do this to begin to feel better about myself again, to gain back some self confidence. To feel beautiful. The happiness that I gained from the shoot, has been with me for years, and has no signs of leaving soon! 

 

If you got these photographs done again, what is your reasoning for having them done this time?

The self-confidence boost I received was beyond anything I have had in a while. I loved that feeling, and would love to have photos taken again! 

 

Is there anything you would have done differently if you could go back?

There was nothing I would change. I know I would continue to be nervous, no matter how many of these shoots I have in the future. I would continue to enjoy the experience. 

 

What are your overall thoughts on boudoir photography?

What a great way to celebrate women, to encourage, boost self esteem, make women feel beautiful! It is a great gift, not just for a significant other, but for yourself. I would recommend that every woman have this wonderful experience. Make sure you find a photographer that you click with. That you know will honor and respect you. Who will do his/her best to make you feel comfortable. It is an experience that I would gladly have again and again! 

 

It's pretty common to be nervous about getting boudoir photos done, any pro tips for overcoming those fears?

Nervousness is expected!!! Everyone feels vulnerable being in front of strangers (even friends) in their underwear. It's perfectly normal. Just know that you are NOT alone. I wish I had better tips!!! 

 

Did this experience help your self confidence at all?

Did it ever!!!! I grew so much, in my short half hour shoot, that it was probably one of the most positive and enriching experiences I've ever had. I would do it again in a heartbeat. I loved it, and encourage everyone to do it too, at least once!!!

 

Clarissa looked amazing as always, got out of her shell, and did most of the work to look this beautiful in just by being the best of herself. She will be providing some goodies from her badass small business as a strong, powerful, self-employed woman for this upcoming boudoir day. Thank you Clarissa for bringing some of yourself back to this experience to share with other fantastic women.

Anyways, I hope her experience helps you in some way. Whether or not you ever get boudoir photos taken in your lifetime, it's a reminder that we are all self-conscious sometimes. We all feel vulnerable, but we too can all be beautiful and self-confident. We were all born with it, we sometimes just have to remember our own awesomeness.

Here are a few of Clarissa's hotos. Doesn't she look FREAKING GORGEOUS?!?!